God Posts

Being a Parent

If you have children, you have a high-intensity, high-risk, high-reward discipleship environment right at home with the little ones God has entrusted to you.[1] As a parent, you have live-in disciples who are going to become just like you – whether you like it or not. Sometimes I watch my kids when they start misbehaving and wonder where they picked that up. Then I look in the mirror and realize they learned that from me!

When it comes to discipling kids, parents need to recognize the priority of their role in this regard.[2] The Scriptures teach us that parents should be the hub of discipleship in the life of a child. At the breakfast table, when driving the kids to soccer practice, when making their lunches, when they’re getting ready for school, parents should take point on the spiritual development of their children.

Unfortunately, we live in a world that outsources. We hire out services and assume that by paying the professionals we are taking advantage of their expertise, and thus receiving a better product. So we hire a mechanic, hire an electrician and hire a pastor. But God does not care about your ability to change your oil or rewire a GFI plug. He is, however, very interested in your investment into the spiritual life of the children He has entrusted to you. Children are a gift from the Lord[3] that He has graciously placed in your care. We are to train and discipline our children that they might be more like Jesus.[4] We cannot outsource this responsibility.

So invest in the spiritual life of your child. Share with them what you are reading. Pray for them. Show them what God is teaching you in His Word. Help them come to understand the gospel (grace alone, faith alone, in Christ alone). Model for them faithfulness to your spouse. Attend church regularly as a practical discipline of experiencing community together. Let them see you living in relationships with others who hold you accountable and support you in your walk with the Lord. Invest your time in the things of God and help them reorient their lives toward others as well.

These are all powerful deposits that are made into the life of a child. You don’t need to have the answers, but you need to help them see Christ in you. That is your responsibility. That is being a parent.

[1] Psalm 78:1-8
[2] Deuteronomy 6:6-9
[3] Psalm 127:3
[4] Psalm 22:6

Living With Intentionality

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Recently I had the privilege of doing my friend Harold Penner’s memorial service. H.P. was a church planter, a pastor at heart, a businessman, and he was a founding advisor of The Well. We built a relationship when I was a college pastor, and I started talking about this church I really felt like I needed to start. I shared a lot of the vision with him, and he really became a Jethro figure to me – a mentor, a sage and a guy who just believed in me.

The week before the first service at The Well, I remember thinking, “Holy smokes. Next week is our first service. This is dumb. This is not a good idea.” My wife was pregnant with Peyton at the time, and Harold was the guy who believed in me and the vision for The Well. He kept admonishing me, “You can do this. God is with you. Go for it!”

Harold was a very unique man. He was godly, full of joy and wisdom, and he had a mischievous way about him. He was probably the finest man I’ve ever met. He loved life and people, and was serious about his relationship with Jesus. His capacity for people was beyond reach; he had such a crazy love for folks.

He was also very intentional about what he did. Most people live for the moment. They simply take what life gives them and then seize the day. H.P. was different. He not only had the capacity to choose joy in the moment but he could snap moments together with intentionality. He moved very strategically. He invested with intent. He planned with the next several steps in mind. And this intentionality shaped those he influenced. Whether it was his business, which he was wildly successful at, or his kids, his grandkids, or his wife, he was intentional.

Having the opportunity to do his memorial service was a highlight of my ministry. It was a powerful reminder of the results of a life lived on purpose. Scanning the crowd I saw the men and women he had influenced. They were there to pay their respects, but they were also a testimony of his influence.

It made me rethink my life. What am I doing to influence others? What steps am I taking today to help point someone toward Christ? Am I setting up strategic opportunities to invest in people and help them live out their calling – with intentionality?

I want to make sure I’m making strategic investments into my marriage. I want to set a plan for my kids and work with them, as they become solid women of God. I want to lead The Well on purpose, making strategic moves and taking intentional risks to better create a culture of influence.

It also made me consider the various seasons of life that are represented in our context and how we could all move toward a more intentional life:

  • Singles: What would it look like for you to develop a theology of relationship of the right type of person? What would be different if you strategically invested your time and energy into becoming that type of person yourself?
  • Marrieds: How could your marriage look different if you strategically invested in your most important relationship? How would your time look different? What rites of passage or marked moments could you capture with your spouse? How could you make intentional deposits into their life?
  • Parents: Children are a gift from the Lord. How could you intentionally steward that gift? What steps could you take to breathe life into your kids? How could you strategically help them grow and develop into men and women of God? What schedule changes could you make to free up your time to be present with them? What would it look like to put away the devices (phones, iPads, computers, TVs) and strategically invest in the lives of your children? We are responsible to steward their growth and development, and we cannot outsource their spiritual growth.

I think the takeaway from Harold’s life is to do life on purpose. Let’s be intentional and strategic, knowing that when we plan we must plan in pencil because God still has the authority to change whatever plans we’ve worked so diligently to create. But at least we’ve planned something. If you draw that bull’s eye on the wall, it gives you a target to move toward versus doing nothing and seeing what happens. Let’s not just accidentally do life. Let’s be intentional and steward well what God has given us.

Where Is God?

Where Is God?

I’ll never forget the phone call. It was late one night and I was getting ready for bed. The phone rang, which was strange at this hour, but I answered. On the other end was my friend in tears. He said that his son was at Children’s Hospital and wasn’t doing well. He asked if I would pray for his son, and then hung up. Not only did I pray, but I got dressed and headed to the hospital to check in on my friend and his son. As I walked through the doors of the emergency room I saw a group of medical professionals performing chest compressions on my friend’s son. Apparently the little guy had had a heart issue that was now putting his life into jeopardy.

That next morning I drove my friend and his wife to Stanford Hospital. We found out he needed a heart transplant to survive. We spent nearly 40 days together at the hospital, waiting, hoping and praying. I remember spending time in the hospital chapel with my friend who prayed repeatedly for the Lord to spare the life of his son. He even offered to give his own life for his son, if the Lord would be so pleased to grant life back to this 5 year old boy. The Lord didn’t. After a 40 day fight, Trevin went to be with the Lord.

Where was God!?

His mother and father have served the Lord faithfully for many years. They have had a profound ministry to many and even played a key role in me coming to know Christ. Yet the Lord took Trevin home. This doesn’t make sense!

Several years later I was in a staff meeting with a few of our pastors. We were passionately discussing something when the phone rang. Jerrod sent the call to voicemail. We continued our discussion when it rang again. Typically an immediate callback means something important, so he took the call. His face went pale as he listened to the voice of his wife on the other end of the call. He hung up the phone and urgently headed for the door. When we asked what was wrong he replied, “Tyler’s dead.” Our executive pastor jumped in the car with him and I reached for my keys and began to pray. As I followed them to the hospital I couldn’t help but ask God, why!? This family has served the Lord and been faithful to Him in so many ways. As we walked into the hospital room his wife was there in tears. I watched them embrace and searched for words and understanding.

Where is God!?

Years later a friend of mine got a call from the hospital. “Was your husband working out tonight?” the caller inquired. “What was he wearing?” They pressed further. “Why do you ask?” the wife inquired. “We’ve got an unresponsive patient and we need to see if you can come and identity him for us.” So she calls her brother to meet her there and heads to the hospital, not sure what they’ll find, but with a heavy heart, fearing the worst. As she approaches the hospital, her brother greets her. She enters a room and they inform her that they have a “John Doe” and need her to identify him. They lead her into another room and show her the body of her husband. “That’s no John Doe,” she replies. “That’s my husband! That’s Peter Hagenzieker.” Peter had been a teacher and influencer at Kastner Jr. High for years. He took point for the school’s FCA club and was a faithful man. He had served the Lord faithfully.

Where is God!?

What do you say? How should you respond? What words of comfort, if any, can be offered in this type of pain?

Unfortunately these stories are not unique. They come in various forms and to varying degrees of severity, but they come nonetheless. They are common, far too common! A spot on an x-ray, a bad report from the blood work, chest pain that indicates a heart issue, a pink slip at work, a down economy that leads to losing a home, an unexpected car accident, the sting of divorce, the loneliness that follows the death of a loved one, and on and on and on!

So we turn to the Scriptures for answers. We turn page after tear stained page, looking for hope and understanding. And yet answers are elusive.

In these moments, questions fill our minds as we try to understand. Where is God?

I’m thankful these are not new questions. In fact, they have been asked for centuries. One of my favorite passages of Scripture is Psalm 13, where King David deals with this exact question. These words were written by a man who understood sorrow and grief. He felt the sting of moral failure, experienced the loss of a child, the rape of a daughter, the murder of a son, the rebellion of another son, the rejection of his kingdom and the eviction from his home.

In the midst of it all, he writes these words:

How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;
light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”
lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
because he has dealt bountifully with me.
– Psalm 13 (ESV)

How honest. How authentic. How candid. How true! Where is God?

If you notice in the passage, he never gets alleviation of circumstances. The wound is never lanced and the pain is never remedied, yet his tone changes. Not because of a change of circumstances, but because of a gained perspective.

Notice verse 5: “But I have trusted in your loving steadfast love.” His change of perspective didn’t come form a greater understanding of circumstances; that would be an answer to the “why” question. Instead he gets a greater understanding of the nature and position of God. This perspective helps him see that, even in pain, God is sovereign. God is in control. It allows David and all of those like ourselves who would also suffer loss after him, to cry out “Your’e Still God.” David recognizes that God has a past track record of faithfulness. He is not asleep or unaware. He is not distant or callous. Quite the contrary, He is sovereign! He cares! And He is aware! He has a perspective that David will never truly understand. He won’t get why God allows what He does, nor will he truly comprehend the reason that tragedy strikes, but he can trust in the enduring and unchanging nature of God.

When David pauses long enough to look beyond his own pain to see God at work, he can’t help but trust in the faithfulness of an Almighty God. It is his trust in the continued faithfulness of God that allows David to sing to the Lord and to praise Him for who He is, and for what He is doing in David’s life.

So, where is God?

In my distress I called upon the LORD;
to my God I cried for help.
From his temple he heard my voice,
and my cry to him reached his ears.
– Psalm 18:6 (ESV)

Aware and present when we call.

So, where is God?

You have kept count of my tossings;
put my tears in your bottle.
Are they not in your book?
– Psalm 56:8 (ESV)

Intimately involved in our pain.

I’m not sure what circumstances surround you at this point. But I know that tragedy often strikes unannounced and uninvited. When it does interrupt your life, I pray that you will eventually gain perspective. Instead of asking God “why?” try asking God “what?” I admit this shift is perspective is not an easy one. In fact, it is often the result of many anxious nights and honest conversations with God. However, healing comes when we can see our circumstances with a fresh perspective.

If you find yourself in the ashes of tragedy, here are a few suggestions:

  1. This world is a crazy place. Our bodies fail, sickness intrudes our life uninvited, and because of sin, people do crazy things that cause lifelong trauma. In the midst of the insanity of life, would you entrust your life to Jesus Christ? This world is not as it should be, nor as it will be when He returns. In the meantime, life without Christ is a life without hope. Only through the person and work of Jesus Christ can there be hope in a fallen world.
  2. Realize that you are not alone. God is aware and listening for your cry for help. Call to Him and He will grant comfort. This process may be messy and there may be some candid and raw emotions that fly when you cry out in pain. God is a big boy, He can handle it. Cry out anyway. As your read in Psalm 13, God has heard good, honest prayer before. In fact, this honest dialogue with the Lord may be a key part to the beginning of a healing process.
  3. Find others around you that you can share life with. Your pain is yours, but you don’t have to be alone in it. There are others who have experienced their own share of heartache. Maybe God can use those He has already comforted in their own affliction to be a comfort to you in yours.

Thank you to the Dilfer, Rumley and Hagenzieker families for permission to share a bit of their stories and help point people to hope in Christ!

 

Originally posted on thewellcommunity.org.

The One Word I Want to Define My Life

The One Word

I had been coming home a little on edge. I was not necessarily fun to be around, from my wife’s perspective. And I was missing my kids’ soccer practices since I was so busy. So they weren’t happy with me. I was cranking, working hard, giving a lot, and under a ton of stress. I was handling things outside of my comfort zone, so I didn’t feel competent, making decisions that have huge implications on people’s lives, and I didn’t feel with certainty it was the right call. And I had to teach, and honestly, the last thing I wanted to do was teach. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

I prepped. And I studied. And I taught. And it felt like flesh. It felt like me. It felt like the message was a giant run-on sentence, one ginormous blah, blah, blah, blah. I finished the message, went home, and of course, I couldn’t sleep, beating myself up: You shouldn’t have said that, you should have said that, you missed that, you misquoted that, you said um 150 times. What the heck is wrong with you?

Some assume it happens over decades. I love Jesus, then not as much the next year, and then not as much the next year, and the next year not as much. But it can happen in a moment. Literally, overnight.

I go to bed and realize I have to get back with the Lord. He hasn’t gone anywhere. The problem is not the Lord; the problem is me. I’m trying to do this in my own strength, I’m trying to wrestle my life to the ground on my own – and it’s too much.

I began to look at my spiritual life. What does my time in the word look like? What does my time in prayer look like? And I realize it’s scarce, if not non-existent. So I spend good time with the Lord, and good time in prayer and good time in my Bible – and the funny thing is, my wife likes me more, and it’s fascinating how my kids want to snuggle with me now, and I actually have the time. When my life gets crazy, I get very selfish. I need this. I need that. When my life is about other people, that’s where I find joy.

I walked into OSH, and I saw this guy with his wife sitting on patio furniture. I was feeling full, so I said, “Oh dude, you have got to have it.”

“Yeah, it’s like three grand,” he said.

“Well, happy wife, happy life.”

“If I buy this, you have to come party with us later.”

“If you need a truck, let me know.” And I walked away.

Five minutes later, this guy walked up and asks, “Were you serious?”

“That’s why I bought a truck, so I could help people. Do you need it?”

“I do.”

I loaded his furniture into my truck – and while he didn’t live right down the street, but way down the street, I left with joy. And that’s what I’m talking about. That’s what I love. If I’m in myself, if I’m in the flesh, if I’m being selfish, I’m not going to offer that guy anything. I don’t have time for that guy.

Don’t forget your first love. Recognize from where you have fallen, repent, and do the deeds that you did at first (see Revelation 2:4-5). 

The challenge is to check our hearts day by day, moment by moment, and process what it means to stay connected to Him.

If there is stress, frustration, fruitlessness, then you are not abiding. You are not being filled by Him and His strength.

If there’s a word that I would like to define my life, it’s abide. Because when I abide in Him and He abides in me – and literally, abide means to sink deeply into, to remain in – when I remain in Him, and He remains in me, and when I sink deeply into Him, and He sinks deeply into me, I bear much fruit. But apart from Him, I can do nothing. Not that I can’t do some things or I’m not as effective. No. You can’t do jack without Him (see John 15:5).

Bullet Points:

  • Slow down
  • Pray
  • Go for a walk
  • Enjoy the breeze
  • Read your Bible – not for the mind, for the heart
  • And make sure what you’re doing, you’re doing out of an abiding, connective relationship with Him

A Bonus Easter Message From The Holy Land

Israel Easter Message from The Well Community Church on Vimeo.

Here’s a bonus Easter message we recorded on our last trip to Israel. The stories in our Bible are not fictional stories. They took place in a real place, at a real time. And the story continues. Christ will come back and He’s coming back to a specific place, at a time yet to be revealed.

Keep Your Zipper Up And Other Advice For Singles

Keep Your Zipper Up And Other Advice For Singles

Safety in a Pack

When you see a pack of antelope on the Discovery Channel prancing through the forest – it’s never the one in the pack that becomes lunch. It’s the one off doing their own thing that gets picked out of the teeth of some lion later.

Very rarely, if ever, are you going to do something stupid if surrounded by friends. So find good friends and stay together.

Are You a Peter or a Paul?

When I first came to know Christ I was obsessed with the Apostle Paul. Reading through the book of Acts and his conversion experience in chapter 9 reminded me of my own story. I can vividly remember telling my friend, Joe Broussard, that I was “just like Paul.” Little did I know how arrogant it was for me to claim any such resemblance. He was quick to point out, actually, that I was more like Peter. And little did I know how insulting that was.

Peter was a man of tremendous passion. He was ready, fire, aim in most situations. He was often the first to speak and the first to be rebuked. His impulsive nature got him in a ton of trouble.

I think that’s why Joe was right. As I look back at my faith journey, it has been much more like Peter than Paul. Peter was a roughneck. He was a calloused-handed fisherman who boasted of his great faith and commitment, yet found himself denying Christ after His arrest (Matthew 26). My testimony was full of these moments of regret. Walking with God was a very tumultuous experience for me in the early days. Old habits were hard to break and I often found myself crying out to God through tears. Again.

This statue is on the campus of Dallas Theological Seminary. During my time there I would often sit and reflect upon Peter and his tendency to speak so boldly and cower so quickly. I was taken by the veins on Peter’s arms and the look on his face. The frail Jesus wipes the dirty feet of the burly fisherman. I was also reminded that the real beauty in Peter’s story is not how he started but how he finished.

Tucked in the recesses of John 21 is a section of Scripture that focuses on the restoration of Peter. It takes place on the shores of the Sea of Galilee near the hot spring of Tabgha. It was on this very shore that Jesus took the crumbled Peter and restored him once more.

Peter had imploded under the pressure of the arrest of Jesus and had denied Him three times. It was on these very shores that Jesus asked him three times, “Do you love me?” Complete restoration.

Peter had a rocky start, but his brokenness made him a man of God refined in the fire! Peter takes the gospel and becomes the figurehead of the church. From Acts 2-10, he is the star of the text. The difference is that he’s not drawing attention to himself, but rather walking in the brokenness of his past. His humility and the understanding of that suffering had forever changed him.

My Reminder:

I keep this rock (below) in my office as a reminder of the breaking and restoration of my hero. Though I have grown a bit, I’m not immune to repeating the sins of my past. I picked this rock out of the stream you see above. It serves as a strong reminder that God uses broken, impetuous, tenacious men for His own glory – but only after breaking them deeply. I am grateful for the pain of my past and thankful for the work God has done in my life through many tears.

I wanted to write this post to give some of you hope. You may find yourself repeating the same mistakes you’ve made over and over again. Be encouraged. God is a faithful God who will continue to move you to repentance. But also beware. The consequences of sin are out of your hands. Until God breaks you deeply, you will never be used mightily for Him.

So lean into the Lord. Do not resist His hand of refinement. He is shaping you. It is painful, but it is worth it. Once we are through the furnace, we are brought out of the other side with a greater understanding of the love of God.

My friends, never forget where you came from. Our past shapes who we are today and motivates us to never live like that again!

Here’s to the restoration of Peter – and the hope of continued restoration of the broken.